It's 11 p.m. The game's on, and your thumb is hovering over the app. That's the moment a sponsor is for. You can't white-knuckle this alone. A sponsor is someone further along in recovery who's been right where you are and agrees to walk with you through yours. They pick up that call. They notice when your story stops adding up. And they've already made most of the mistakes you're about to make.
Why a GA sponsor matters
Most research on sponsorship comes from Alcoholics Anonymous, not GA, so treat it as a strong hint. Still, it all points the same way. Studies summarized by addiction researcher William White found the biggest benefits of having a sponsor show up in the first year. Sober time tends to grow the longer the sponsorship lasts, and people with sponsors are more likely to keep going to meetings.
What a sponsor is, and what they aren't
- A sponsor is someone in recovery a step or two ahead of you. This is the person you call before you bet and after you slip, and your guide through GA's program.
- A sponsor isn't a therapist, a lender or a co-signer. Plenty of people have a sponsor and a therapist, because the two do different jobs.
How to find a sponsor in GA
- Go to meetings. Several of them. GA has in-person, online and phone meetings on its meeting finder. Keep trying groups until one feels like home.
- Listen first. Notice who shares honestly, who has the kind of recovery you want, and who seems steady instead of preachy.
- Look for: at least a year or two bet-free, someone who still goes to meetings, someone who's worked the program, and someone you trust to keep things private. Many groups suggest someone of the same gender.
- Ask after a meeting. Yeah, it feels awkward. Every sponsor was once the new person asking.
- Start with a trial. It's completely normal to say, "Can we try this for a month?" Some groups call this a temporary sponsor.
What to say when you ask someone to be your sponsor
"Hey, I liked what you shared tonight. I'm pretty new and I'm looking for a sponsor. Would you be open to that, or could we at least grab coffee and talk about it?"
If they say no, it's usually got nothing to do with you. They might have too many sponsees already or be going through something of their own. Thank them, and ask if they know anyone who might be a good fit.
How to be a good sponsee
- Call when things are fine, so calling is easy when they're not.
- Tell them everything, including the parts you're ashamed of.
- Do what you said you'd do.
- Tell them about a slip within 24 hours.
One serious caution. If your betting involved anything that could be a crime, like taking money from an employer, talk to a lawyer before you tell anyone else. What you tell a sponsor usually isn't legally protected the way a conversation with a lawyer is.
If GA isn't for you
SMART Recovery doesn't use sponsors. You still need at least one person who knows everything and checks in on you regularly, like an accountability partner in recovery or a peer recovery coach. Read GA vs. SMART Recovery.
Frequently asked questions
How long should I wait before getting a sponsor?
You don't have to wait. Lots of people ask within their first few weeks of meetings. A temporary sponsor is fine while you look for the right fit.
Can I have a sponsor if I go to online meetings?
You can. Plenty of sponsorships happen by phone and online. Stay on after the meeting, or ask the group how members connect.
Can I change sponsors?
Of course. If it isn't working, thank them and find someone who fits better. It happens all the time.
Build your support team
Get a recovery plan with the support that fits right where you are.
Start my planSources: William White, Chestnut Health Systems: The Science of Sponsorship; Gamblers Anonymous meeting finder; Washington House bill analysis on sponsor privilege (2016). This isn't legal advice.
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